These questions are really good Kim!

1. You live in the Deep South of Atlantia. What do you see as the biggest difference between Northern Atlantia and Southern Atlantia?

The rural nature of the land down here leads us to a different culture, one of large geographic Baronies with mulitple Cantons. Cantons give a local intimacy but draw energy away from the pomp of the Barony.

Our geography also means we have to travel two hours between Cantons and four-twelve to visit other places. Few have the means or desire to do so but I have found you cannot have a sense of the "Society" in your own backyard.

Likewise, since folks in the North can drive two hours to visit another group...there seems to be limited interest in trucking all the way down here!

2. How in the world have you managed to raise two wonderful girls in the SCA and they turn out to not be little monsters and you haven�t lost your mind?

First, thankyou for your opinion of them but what makes you think I haven't lost my mind?

We have had wonderful support of family and friends (most of whom never wanted children but have largely accepted ours).

Really, I think our basis was really loving each other with true commitment. Also, therapy and self-reflection on how we were raised and how we would maintain the rich tradition of a Southern upbringing while trying to undo some of the poor scripting that is part of everyone's past. Balance...between strictness and permissiveness, between what they want and what they need.

I think they benefit greatly from our growth (Les and I) and from the security of living in the same town as their paternal g-parents.

I really don't know....we just try hard to live in love and respect, apologize and move on when we miss the mark....

I bet Jeffrey Dahmer's Mom tried hard too.

3. There are moments where it is ***extremely*** hard to �choose grace.� What do you do in those moments? What do you do when a situation is so bad that you simply can�t choose grace?

Ahh, sometimes I simply fail! I believe in the mental roll-a-dex. I flip through cards on my mind, examining each one and if I get to the third card and it still is not gracious...I know that either the moment to speak is past or I do not have enough control to speak at that time.

I also believe in finding your safe place so you can ventilate without fear of repercussion. Not everyone you think is safe really is. I am really blessed that I have Les, Nia, Cym and Sue and then sometimes even Bryam!

Also, I try to maintain a default that there must be something really harsh in someone's life if they need to act with cruelty. In those cases I believe in just walking away (never wrestle with a pig...)

Still, I do fail. When I do I try to apologize ro make recompense when/where I can. But honestly, learning the roll-a-dex and safe place techniques have really helped.

Kim, not every situation requires grace...If necessary such as to prevent injury (mental or physical)you must do what is necessary to put a stop to the behavior or activity. How that goes over is so much less important.

4. Do you feel the bar for a Pelican is getting raised too high? If so, what do you think could be done to prevent it from getting out of control?

Absolutely not. In fact, I would say the Order is really open. I do think every Peer has to guard against expecting new candidates to be where you are right now not at your elevation. So, having consistent personal standards and holding each other accountable for explaining those standards is the best remedy I guess.

We often get that service is not quantifiable...yet, it seems relatively easy to us. I think sometimes we are not open enough about our personal criteria which makes it difficult to see from the outside why/how members are selected. Don't forget the candidate needs to be ready, when we see them, when the Crown is willing to poll/Pel them... but that is a future post.

Someone once said if something was easy, where is the inspiration? But goodness, if I made it then anyone can.

5. If I were going to visit South Carolina this weekend, what places and sites would you recommend I visit?

We are such a varied state that I must take regions....On the coast? I eschew Myrtle Beach for one of the barrier islands like Kiawah or Fripp. There is tremendous history of course largely centered around Charleston but sprinkled throughout the state. You can paddle down the black water of the Edisto River if that is your thing. If the Confederacy draws your interest you should visit Fort Sumter, First Baptist here in Columbia and our beautiful capitol. We have the Koger Center here in Columbia, Dock Street Theatre in Charleston and the Peace Center in Greenville for a variety of arts and entertainment.

Then there is the food...She Crab Soup, Shrimp and Grits next to soul food or the latest in Nouveau Cuisine.

BK (Before Kids) we used to go somewhere-anywhere 3 of the 4 weekends in a month...just to see little towns and get away to be together but alone. We have something for everyone.