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Meanness, pure meanness Meanness...all I got is meanness in so many senses of the word. For those who know me, anger is my hardest emotion. It is never pure and is often tangled up in hurt, frustration and seven other interwoven emotions. I am no different this time. Work consumes me and yet I cannot focus. I have so little to offer and yet so many on whom to focus. My I is over E'd. I am praying for a peaceful trip to VA...alone time in the car and then quiet peaceful fellowship with dear friends. The event will be full and once again, I will pull it together and I will be just fine. But then, quiet time again...a good steak and...I am bringing wine. Three bottles. And I intend to make sure they are thoroughly enjoyed.
Update...and then they waxed.... They waxed the floors outside my office. Nothing says lovin' like them not remembering that I am allergic to the wax and waxing during the day. So here I am, first day in the office...printing out stuff for my program start and clearing my throat...first occasionally then more frequently. Then the wheezing. Then the mad, panic to find the inhaler. Then the shaking hands and wet cough as I try to rid myself of the allergens and all the mucous that were trapped in my lungs. Then the chest tightness that I never know whether the origin of is bronchial or cardiac. And I just THOUGHT I was sick and tired before. |
� dameanne 2001-2002
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