I have to preface this entry by saying that I know that I have tremendous blessings...I have a rewarding and stimulating job, a great marriage with fantastic children, an interesting hobby....all of which are places where I can make active contributions, a must for my personality.

But sometimes, life is just too full.

As I was driving to work today (Les had a meeting out of town) I realized I was struggling not to cry. I know I am a girlie-girl and to some degree, a princess. I whine a lot. Still, I only cry when I am extremely frustrated or grieving.

In trying to tease out what had moved me to this point, I realized that I had finally overcommitted myself. I do not have enough weekend and evening time to take care of my family, prepare my daily classes, field SCA phone calls and emails AND prep for Pennsic. As each day has passed I have felt more and more stressed until I subconsciously knew something had to give.

As one friend said..."sounds like an adult decision." Yes, and the adult part of me is no longer crazy...the little bit of Peter Pan/Princess still wonders why I can't have it all.

Doesn't matter how much you looked forward to the social aspect of a Junior League Pennsic if you have to pay this level of price before and after. I will miss each and every moment that I will not be sharing with friends. I will miss walking to the field at night...I prefer it to the day with all that noise (and sweat). I will miss important conversations with friends about plans, hopes and dreams. I will miss Pennsic courts and the beauty and excitement. I will miss torch light and friends with feet propped up. I will miss so much.

But I will be here sane and ready for the rest of August when you all get back.

I will not have the long cardrive to and from PA...the loads of Pennsic clothes to prep, pack, unpack, wash and repack. I will not have the Pennsic dirt to soak from my feet and toenails. Yes, I need to remember the dirty feet and no bathtubs....