Gotta love fatigue. I just wrote this long entry stating the reasons why my spirit is weary and then I closed the window before I posted it.

Suffice it to say that I should not have to explain myself but always get asked why so here it is in shorter bulleted form.

- I "saved" all my vacation for Pennsic but that turned into something else.

- I came back to cover five units and two depts (300 employees) solo until my clinical specialist returned from leave two weeks ago.

- We then started Joint Commission Accreditation prep which is a huge bother and major responsibility as Accreditation=Medicare funding.

- I have completed six 2 hour survey sessions this week along with prep time so that I had put in my 80 hours by the time I came in Tuesday.

- I have gone to an average number of events for our "peer group" but get questions whether I chose to go to an event (Where have You been?) or whether I choose not to go (Where were you?)

- I am trying to usher my family through a particularly bad fall while still being intensely thankful for our many blessings.

- I am struggling to learn how to play SCA in a way that allows me more personal time with less conflict with what others expect of me.

So, as you can see, I am exhausted. My spirit is weary and I am praying for the understanding of family and friends and the limited criticism of those who may consider themselves to be.

If I have told you that I will be at your event in the next few weeks, I was not lying but I find myself needing to pull back. I often tell my friends when I am tired I cannot "Choose Grace" freely and then I worry about disappointing myself or hurting someone by being in an outward environment when I need to turn inward.

I ask you to care for me by not telling me too often, "Where have you been" and "I really missed you at ___"

Instead, please think of us as preparing for our Thanksgiving at the beach and drop me a line as to how those preparations are going or how the weekend was.

Maybe I will find the Anne I like to be walking along the shoreline cause I am having trouble finding her this week.