I have missed you in this forum. I will try to fill you in briefly on our week as I hope you will do so by sharing yourself with us.

Many of you know that on Sunday, August 11, 2002, Leslie's Mother succumbed to metastatic colon cancer. Death of a parent, grandparent and mentor is always a tremendous loss. Still I am not sure we have even absorbed how much we have lost. In the midst of all the emotional work there are tasks, so many tasks.

A week ago Friday we were in a frenzy to complete a day's work in a half day when we learned Dwight was in hospital. Dr Dad said I should go on to vacation but somehow I just knew.

We went home to get the girls and tried to prepare for what we might be experiencing. When we got there we knew. Over time, I had tried to help Les and the girls prepare but this was it. His daddy was exhausted and thankfully could go home to our brother in law who had just arrived. Les took our daughters home to sleep all together "in the big bed". He could not sit vigil as sleep deprivation might lower his seizure threshold.

I stayed the night to care for her. To love and cherish her; to pray and read scripture, to sing and make statements of love and respect. I am honored to have had that time.

The next am, Dr Dad arrived nervous about having made no formal "plans." He NEEDED to get this done but could not focus in his fatigue and grief. He asked me to come and so we spent the day getting done what needed to be done. By five pm after a million questions we were done. Les brought me home to our girls and then returned with them to Grandma. I knew his sibs were on the way and said he could come get me up at midnight to come sit so they could sleep.

I awoke at 0500 wondering why I had been allowed to sleep so long. I feared to wake him so I called to find her weaker and his brother still at her bedside.

I could not sleep and wrote down so much of why I love her. When Les awoke we started for the hospital in two cars so we could come and go but she passed quietly just before we arrived. I helped Robert compose her and waited for Elizabeth and Dr Dad to arrive.

And so it was Sunday, now it was a story of getting ready. Theo called and I am not even sure what I said. Something stupid about trying to come late or mail everything for the vigils and Queen. I know I talked to Isabel and to Francesca sometime as well but it is all blurry. In the midst of all this, I still felt irresponsible. Les became the airport person. I was thankful to have pre-prepared the girls dresses but had not dyed my hair because of the Pennsic water.

Monday was hair and tons of errands then the "visitation." Dwight's brother, sister in law and nephew came from MS. Dr Les's sister too. Everyone at different stages of grief. Some of us with three days some with three hours of reality. Hard. Judith came to be with us.

Tuesday was the funeral. Beautiful and brief. Aelfred and Simone there to return our support during her loss. Ealdthryth there in quiet testimony to the beautiful spirit that she and Eldred share. ET there in quiet support.

Wednesday we were exhausted but worked out how to send acknowledgements. Dr. Dad remembered Katie's Birthday and wrote her first birthday check from him. It was one of several "moments" that made us start to realize how long it would take to learn to live without her.

I had thought to leave early Wed to try to get to Pennsic. I could not find someone by cell to accept the packages at Pennsic and thought I should drive up. But Thursday was Katie's Birthday and while I could plan for months to celebrate it after, I could not do so when the week was full of sorrow.

Thursday the girls started school and I shopped for a few special presents. She had worn my Lancome' to the funeral so I got her her own. Some special back to school clothes and we were done. We went for sushi and had a beautiful time.

Friday was about recovering from the week and enjoying us four. School is going to be challenging but fun.

Saturday we watched Lord of the Rings on DVD (a Katie gift)and then took Grandpa and Aunt Kay out for Japanese Hibachi. It was something we had never done with the two of them and Grandpa seemed to have a good time. The chef kept calling Aunt Kay "Momma," which was hard but I bit my tongue.

Sunday I wondered how many of you had returned and worked on getting ready to return to work after my week of vacation. I started to think of and regret missing so many of the fine moments we had all planned. Please let us know what sweet things we missed.

For those of you whose thoughts, words and deeds of support made this week easier. Thank you from our hearts.

Our girls are doing very well. If you read my diary you know how much happiness they bring into our lives. I have never been more proud of them or of my husband. In the midst of this loss I haved learned that we lived in the presence of a great love. And I am blessed to be part of the next generations of that love.